Quote

Your partner is your mirror. Except for the way you perceive him, he doesn’t even exist for you. He is who you see he is, and ultimately it’s just you again, thinking. It’s just you, over and over and over, and in this way you remain blind to yourself and feel justified and lost. To think that your partner is anything but a mirror of you is painful. So when you see him as flawed in any way, you can be sure that that’s where your own flaw is. The flaw has to be in your thinking, because you’re the one projecting it. You are always what you judge us to be in the moment. There’s no exception. You are your own suffering; you are your own happiness.

— Katie Byron – A Thousand Names for Joy

The Mirror of Relationship

6 responses »

    • The simple and beautiful way this was expressed directly attracted my attention when I stumbled upon this text on the Internet and I decided to post it here. Thank you! 🙂

  1. To think that your partner is anything but a mirror of you is painful. Oh indeed it is; it becomes unbearable – until, over time, it may show that I am this mirror too to her. Two mirrors burning the illsuion away, feeding each other, serving each other the work place for change. The thrilling passion at first (40 years ago) was nothing compared to how we helped each other on the way to waking up. The pain is necessary, we both took and take it gladly.

    • Thanks a lot for sharing these valuable experiences. “Two mirrors burning the illsuion away, feeding each other, serving each other the work place for change.”… I cannot imagine how this phrase could be better expressed than you did it. It is indeed painful to think that your partner is but a mirror, but those two mirrors burning away the illusion together because both are aware of it, is probably the most wonderful experience that strongly binds each other and at the same time creates ultimate freedom.

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